The Odds of Winning WinterFest XVIII – Part VII

April 28, 2009

The Odds of Winning WinterFest XVIII – Part VII

Author: Lama | Category: Banter, Logistics

16th – Snaaake Lawler

15th – The Stork Sterkel

14th – Amped "Mad Max" Hample

13th – Blue Tees "Woozy" Stanley

12th – Indy "Me and Dr. Jones" Klein

11th – Big Easy "Big D" Sommerfeld

10th – Sizzle "En Fuego" Byrn

9th – Demi "The Deuce" Dembeck

8th – Dance Man "The Yankinator" Charleston

7th – Gator "The G-Man" Kouremetis

6th – The Lama Shirey

5th – Bam-Bam "I’m In Your Kitchen Wearin Your Underwear" Stein

and now….

8 to 1: Bond, James Bond: Perennial WinterFest favorite Bond, James Bond has been “on” his game as always, announcing late to Yank Yank Captain (?) Snaaake “Bubbles” Lawler that he would be arriving late on Wednesday, and therefore forced to miss round #1 of WF XVIII. As always James offered to “turn in his score” later that night but Snaaake was having none of it. “I’m telling you, if this guy keeps this up well have no choice to make him an honorary Yank Yank”, said an obviously impressed “Out” Lawler. “We have even ordered a special set of engraved Bingo cards for James as this would be an obvious coup for Team Yanker”, Lawler continued. Well the plan almost came together until James got wind of the plan to offer the special Yank Yank status, and refused to call the round in – instead telling Snaaake “he wanted him Saturday”, for a “special round”. While obviously striking fear into Snaaake’s heart and putting game, the damage was done and James was not able to concentrate on WinterFest – preferring instead to lay a whuppin on Team Yank Yank in Ryder Cup XVI.

5 to 1: Snuffy “Smyth” Smith: Snuffy is well rested after taking WinterFest XVII off, and ready to re-visit the glory of Team EUR’s Pinehurst victory. Snuffy has even vowed to get bad boy TOWM Hample one of those sets of beads you hang from your bag to count strokes this year. In fact the word is that all Team Euro members will be assisting Amped with counting his strokes. I even hear Team EUR has hired “The Count” from Sesame Street to come in and teach Team Yank Yank in a special “counting” refresher.

Can’t you see it now?

All those Yank Yanks gathered around the fish bake table at night with the Count going…

Stroke One – ah ah ah –

Stroke two – ah ah ah –

Stroke three – ah ah ah –

Stroke four – ah ah ah –

Stroke five ah – ah – ah –

Stroke six – ah ah ah –

Stroke five – I mean seven – ah ah ah –

Stoke eight ha ha ha –

Stroke nine – hoo hoo hoo –

Stroke ten – Come on you’re killin me”…

While guaranteed to bring home Ryder Cup XVI for Team EU, Snuffy’s maneuver will lead to TOWM inviting Smyth out one night to the Pork Raw bar to “thank him”.

Lets see — is that going number 1 ah, ah, ah — or — number 2 ah, ah, ah?….