WinterFest Golf

16th – Snaaake Lawler

15th – The Stork Sterkel

14th – Amped "Mad Max" Hample

13th – Blue Tees "Woozy" Stanley

12th – Indy "Me and Dr. Jones" Klein

11th – Big Easy "Big D" Sommerfeld

10th – Sizzle "En Fuego" Byrn

9th – Demi "The Deuce" Dembeck

8th – Dance Man "The Yankinator" Charleston

7th – Gator "The G-Man" Kouremetis

6th – The Lama Shirey

5th – Bam-Bam "I’m In Your Kitchen Wearin Your Underwear" Stein

4th – Bond, James "Dean" Bond

3rd – Snuffy "Smyth" Smith

and now — the rest of the story…

3 to 1: Pope “Cisco the Kid” OTIFH (my man): No one longs for a WinterFest victory more than the Pope. The Pope prays every night, and gives his hands a work-out – every night too as it turns out. The Pope has even gone on a special diet and exercise plan in hopes of bringing home WinterFest XVIII. No more fried foods – no more beer – no more raw pork bars – no more sex – what are you kidding?? This guy is the Pope after all. We even hear the Pope has raised additional funds for the Church of “What Score is Happening Now” in hopes of buying his way into victory circle. Heck the Pope even closed down his Cisco’s bar down in Amelia Island in hopes of winning favor with the WinterFest golf gods. He even sent money to Leroy Jenkins, Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Baker just to cover all the bases. I mean the Pope wants this thing – bad – and see there is the problem. Pope’s are never supposed to want things “bad” – and that will be the Pope’s undoing, as Leroy, Jimmy and Jim will all show up on the final day of WinterFest for a “laying on of their incredibly fast hands”, to rid The Pope of his demons. Rumor has it later that night the Pope will be found slumped over at a local Phoenix cantina with two empty bottles of Tequila crying uncontrollably when he goes Net “666” on the last three holes of WF XVIII to lose…. The good news? Team EUR will finally be able to understand what he’s saying…

1 to 1: The Hitman “The Jackal” Pittman: With Team Yank Yank’s Ryder Cup XV victory at Amelia Island last year, and Obama’s victory last November, it was obviously the year of the Donkey… Well this year is the year of THE JACKAL. The Jackal is ready… He’s got the game…. He knows how to drink… He knows how to win… He knows how to do The Jackal Call… and now he has THE WINTERFEST HANDICAP!!!. If I were Team Yank Yank I’d start measuring the Jackal for Dance Man’s WinterFest XVII Champion’s Jacket right now.

Nothing can stop The Jackal — Snaaake? No Chance Bam-Bam? He’s not even in The Jackal’s garage… The Pope? He’s still drinking down at Cantina Cisco West… Indy Klein? One night with The Lama and he’ll be waking up in Juarez… Billy Bob Bubba The Stork? He can’t even come close to the flight pattern of Bird Man Littlejohn… Big Easy? Putty in The Jackal’s hands… Scatback? He’ll need to make a lot more “Deuces” than TOWM has ever seen… and bad boy Hample?? He’ll be lucky if the USGA does cart him off before the unofficial practice round Tuesday…

Hitman The Jackal Pittman – he’s our man – If he can’t do it….. Some other Euro CAN!!!

16th – Snaaake Lawler

15th – The Stork Sterkel

14th – Amped "Mad Max" Hample

13th – Blue Tees "Woozy" Stanley

12th – Indy "Me and Dr. Jones" Klein

11th – Big Easy "Big D" Sommerfeld

10th – Sizzle "En Fuego" Byrn

9th – Demi "The Deuce" Dembeck

8th – Dance Man "The Yankinator" Charleston

7th – Gator "The G-Man" Kouremetis

6th – The Lama Shirey

5th – Bam-Bam "I’m In Your Kitchen Wearin Your Underwear" Stein

and now….

8 to 1: Bond, James Bond: Perennial WinterFest favorite Bond, James Bond has been “on” his game as always, announcing late to Yank Yank Captain (?) Snaaake “Bubbles” Lawler that he would be arriving late on Wednesday, and therefore forced to miss round #1 of WF XVIII. As always James offered to “turn in his score” later that night but Snaaake was having none of it. “I’m telling you, if this guy keeps this up well have no choice to make him an honorary Yank Yank”, said an obviously impressed “Out” Lawler. “We have even ordered a special set of engraved Bingo cards for James as this would be an obvious coup for Team Yanker”, Lawler continued. Well the plan almost came together until James got wind of the plan to offer the special Yank Yank status, and refused to call the round in – instead telling Snaaake “he wanted him Saturday”, for a “special round”. While obviously striking fear into Snaaake’s heart and putting game, the damage was done and James was not able to concentrate on WinterFest – preferring instead to lay a whuppin on Team Yank Yank in Ryder Cup XVI.

5 to 1: Snuffy “Smyth” Smith: Snuffy is well rested after taking WinterFest XVII off, and ready to re-visit the glory of Team EUR’s Pinehurst victory. Snuffy has even vowed to get bad boy TOWM Hample one of those sets of beads you hang from your bag to count strokes this year. In fact the word is that all Team Euro members will be assisting Amped with counting his strokes. I even hear Team EUR has hired “The Count” from Sesame Street to come in and teach Team Yank Yank in a special “counting” refresher.

Can’t you see it now?

All those Yank Yanks gathered around the fish bake table at night with the Count going…

Stroke One – ah ah ah –

Stroke two – ah ah ah –

Stroke three – ah ah ah –

Stroke four – ah ah ah –

Stroke five ah – ah – ah –

Stroke six – ah ah ah –

Stroke five – I mean seven – ah ah ah –

Stoke eight ha ha ha –

Stroke nine – hoo hoo hoo –

Stroke ten – Come on you’re killin me”…

While guaranteed to bring home Ryder Cup XVI for Team EU, Snuffy’s maneuver will lead to TOWM inviting Smyth out one night to the Pork Raw bar to “thank him”.

Lets see — is that going number 1 ah, ah, ah — or — number 2 ah, ah, ah?….

16th – Snaaake Lawler

15th – The Stork Sterkel

14th – Amped "Mad Max" Hample

13th – Blue Tees "Woozy" Stanley

12th – Indy "Me and Dr. Jones" Klein

11th – Big Easy "Big D" Sommerfeld

10th – Sizzle "En Fuego" Byrn

9th – Demi "The Deuce" Dembeck

8th – Dance Man "The Yankinator" Charleston

7th – Gator "The G-Man" Kouremetis

And now….

15 to 1: The Lama “Cookie” Shirey: The Lama returns to WinterFest this year and promises to bring his trusty sidekick “Hi Ho Silver-Bullet”!! As most have you have seen – The Lama is in tip top form and ready to make a run at his 2^nd “Ying Yang” Jacket – have recently scored a hole-in-one in a practice session with Euro brethren Sizzle – and Yank Yank bad boys Snaaake Bubbles Lawler and Squirt Hample. While normally saving his hole-in-ones for competition, The Lama thought a practice hole-in-one was just the ticket as the two stunned Yank Yanks looked on in horror. The Lama is always one-step ahead as he made it look like he was struggling with his game – and Snaaake of course bought it… But The Lama has been very busy lately taking WinterFest “virtual” – which of course is how the Yank Yanks play their best golf. The effort – while outstanding – has left The Lama with a bit of tendonitis – which does not affect the golf swing – but does impact the hoisting of “Hi Ho Silver!!”. Unless The Lama can get this ailment licked – or at least chugged – his chances in WF XVIII are in doubt.

10 to 1: Bam-Bam “I’m In Your Kitchen Wearin Your Underwear” Bond, Gold Bond “Frank n’” Gentle Ben Stein: If ever WinterFest has seen a player that identifies with the term “odds” it is Bam-Bam Stein. This guy reminds me of the guy back in high school that you would carry down the hall to give his daily swirly. Talk, talk, talk, talk – he’s like those chattering teeth you buy in novelty stores – not the kind of novelty stores that Bam-Bam goes to mind you – but they can be found – and ah yes – somehow we find Bam-Bam back every spring, like a weed getting ready to take over you yard. Was Bam-Bam a good add to team Yank-Yank? Some say yes – some say no – most say why are you making me think about this guy? Word is that every since Ryder Cup XV.75 last fall where Bam-Bam took his trusty 45 handicap to his “home” course and spanked Team EUR – that Shamalamma Bam-Bam has been on the bad-boy list of Yank Yank Captain Bubbles Lawler – as Frank n’ has obviously served as a rallying cry to Team EUR as the prepare to pound on the Yanks Yanks in Ryder Cup XVI. Can Bam-Bam win WinterFest? Get serious. Can Bam-Bam affect the outcome of WinterFest XVIII – hell yes – and we’re still working on the vaccine…

16th – Snaaake Lawler

15th – The Stork Sterkel

14th – Amped "Mad Max" Hample

13th – Blue Tees "Woozy" Stanley

12th – Indy "Me and Dr. Jones" Klein

11th – Big Easy "Big D" Sommerfeld

10th – Sizzle "En Fuego" Byrn

9th – Demi "The Deuce" Dembeck

and now….

50 to 1: Dance Man “The Yankinator” Charleston: Your WinterFest XVII DEFENDING CHAMPION, Dance Man is one of the most consistent players WinterFest has ever seen. When a Yank Yank hears he has an upcoming match with the D-Man, he begins to sweat and shake all over – not unlike the condition Yank Yanks get into after a visit to the House of Pork Raw Bar (right TOWM?). The Dance Man – much like perennial WinterFest favorite James Bond – has been knockin at that Championship door for several years now… and well – those doors have swung open and the Dance Man has tapped his way into WinterFest history!!!

That kind of reminds me of the anecdote that Dance Man has been telling all winter while on the 100-City Speaking tour all WinterFest Champions make after winning “The Big One”. The interesting thing about this anecdote? – It has a Yank Yank twist to it – just to show that we do not exclude our Yank Yank competitors after we stomp on them….

Well the anecdote goes something like this:

3 Yank Yank WinterFest LXVIII golfers die and are at the Pearly Gates waiting to get in when St Peter (Mythda or Legend?) appears… St Peter of course reminds the Yank Yanks that no one gets into heaven, without first correctly answering one of St Peters questions.

The first Yank Yank up is Pope Cisco the Kid OTIFH (my man)… and St Peter says, “Pope – I have to admit you have led an extremely pure life while on earth with all the prayer meetings and fish bakes held to raise cash for the church – so your question will be an easy one – Who was the first man on Earth?” “That’s easy”, says the Pope, “It was Adam!” — GATES SWING OPEN AND THE POPE WALKS IN…

Next up — Mad Max “Amped” TOWM “Squirt” Hample…. Known as the bad boy of Team Yank Yank, St Peter stares Amped down for a minute or two…. “You stickin with that 22 handicap in Round 1 Amped?”, says St Peter. “Yes sir”, responds a timid Amped. “Just checking”, says St Peter. “And the USGA knows about this?”, St Pete continues…. “Yes Sir”, whispers a barely audible Mad Max…. “Well because of things like that, your question is going to be a little harder…. Who is Pope’s best-est golfing buddy?” asks St Pete. Amped gets a panic stricken look on his face… but then seems to calm down, and says, “Snaaake Lawler?????” — GATES SWING OPEN AND AMPED WALKS IN…

Finally, St Peter turns to a visibly shaken Snaaake “Bubbles” Lawler. “You Snaaake have led a very controversial life. You have been under constant surveillance by the USGA, your handicap is more than suspect, you dance in a strip club – and you three putt – often times WITHOUT raking the trap after your 2^nd Putt!!! Therefore – your question is going to be extremely difficult – and I would not be surprised if you spend the next 100 years out here on the practice putting green waiting for your tee time in heaven!!!”

“And here’s your question young (?) master Snaaake – and it is a doozy. What is the last thing heard each night as Team Yank Yank goes to bed in their group dormitory-style shared bed?”

Snaaake is in fact now truly panic stricken – he begins to shake and dry heave – he clutches his putter – but that does nothing for him – finally – he chokes out, “MY THAT’S A HARD ONE” — GATES SWING OPEN AND SNAAAKE WALKS IN…

25 to 1: The Gator “The G-Man” Kouremetis: Once again the Gator comes into WinterFest well rested – and with a National Title in hand. But the Gator knows the only “Real” title is that of WinterFest XVIII – or Ryder Cup XVI Champion!! The Gator has prepped for this baby BIG time – he’s jacked up the engine in his golf cart – he’s upped the UV rating on his sun block – and he has played everyday since WinterFest XVII. He’s a lean – mean – Scaled-Back – HOSTILE – MOBILE – REPTILE Machine!!! He now eats Pelican’s for breakfast – lunch – and as an appetizer for dinner!!! He’s watched all Snaaake’s videos on how to throw the ball out of hazards when people aren’t watching – I mean he’s ready man!!! The only problem – Gator is headed for a Buckeye Revival – where the Gator will be inundated with requests to sing “Hang on Sloopy” and become the New Neutron Man!!! While exciting – the “revelations” will cost The Gator WinterFest XVIII as he misses a tee time while getting face-painted with Buckeye Leaves and having Terrell Pryor autograph his posterior for posterity on Day 4…

16th – Snaaake Lawler

15th – The Stork Sterkel

14th – Amped "Mad Max" Hample

13th – Blue Tees "Woozy" Stanley

12th – Indy "Me and Dr. Jones" Klein

11th – Big Easy "Big D" Sommerfeld

and now….

500 to 1: Sizzle “En Fuego” Byrn: Sizzle made a helluva run in WinterFest XVII, coming up just 2 strokes away from a tie with Dance Man. Word has it that Sizzle continues to “smoke” the competition, and that the 38 handicap is all wrong. As always the complaints about Sizzle’s handicap come from Bad Boy TOWM Hample, a known violator of USGA handicapping rules. Amped aka Porker – has been on Sizzle’s case for a month now, claiming his handicap is way too high. The only problem? – Amped and known dark-side associate Bubbles Lawler recently took Sizzle and The Lama to the golfing-wood-shed and administered a brutal handicapped-aided beating on Siz and Laamma. While clearly wrong and under protest, the combination of the WF XVII heart-breaker and USGA Handicap Rule-breaker beating at the hands of Snaaake and Mad Max will be a constant drain on the considerable golfing skills of Sizzle, and we fear he won’t be able to shake the ill effects of these two notorious Yank Yanks and their “bags of tricks”.

100 to 1: Demi “The Deuce” Scatback Dembeck: Who knows what Scatback will do in any given round – or any given hole for that matter?? Some say his name “Deuce” comes from his ability to “at will” shoot a Net Eagle on Par 4’s to take skins – and Woozy – but that’s just a Myth – we hope. Clearly Scatback has the power to reach any green – or backyard within two blocks of the golf course – in TWO. The question is what day are you catching The Deuce on? If he’s playing Woozy – it’s a bad day – if it’s The Yankinator – it’s just another day…. Can Scatback win it all? Heck yes!! Will he win it all? Heck no!!! Afterall The Stork Sterkel returns this year, and The Deuce and The Stork went toe-to-toe as The Stork tried unsuccessfully to petition Team EUR for a slot (appropriately enough in Vegas) on the Euro squad – replacing Pitter Patterson who was passed out on the black jack tables on Day 3… So there’s bad blood there boys, and it’s unlikely Demi will be in much of a mood to unleash a “Deuce” (hmmmm?) – much less break into to classic “Scat” as he battles with The Stork.

Snaaake Lawler – last

The Stork Sterkel- 15th

Amped "Mad Max" Hample – 14th

Blue Tees "Woozy" Stanley – 13th   and now…

3,000 to 1: Re “Indy” “Me and Mrs Jones” Klein: — A rookie this year for Winter Fest XVIII. Need we say more? Of course we will. Indy is supposed to be “the answer” for Team Yank Yank as they have never had an answer for Team EUR – and most particularly The Lama. So here we go with the “Trojan Horse” scenario of Team Yank Yank. Snaaake calls up The Lama and says, “Lama, I know how stressed you are these days (most of the stress has to do with getting calls from The Snaaake by the way), and I want you to invite your friend so you can relax – kick back – have a beverage or two (two?) – and share some laughs with this good friend. Who would you like to bring along Lama?” So the Lama says, “Indy, he’s a good guy, he’ll be fun and we’ll have a great time at night with one another”. So the Snaaake says, “Done!! Indy is in!!!”. But what we didn’t know was at that same time an elite (?) squad of Yank Yank Rangers (led by Mythda McGiiiiiccccc we hear…) was kidnapping Indy, taking him to the secret Yank Yank “Lair”, where they began a series of brainwashing treatments designed to “convert” Indy to Yankism. Weeks and months of sing-along’s (It’s a Small World after all and such) and the Yank Yanks had what they wanted – a mere shell of the former Indy. So while Indy talks the Yank Yank talk (asking directions to the next prayer meeting), and he walks the Yank Yank walk (he did join AARP’s Square Dancing Club), they forgot that bottom line if you’re going to mess with The Lama and Team Euro, it ultimately comes down to “having game” – and there all they had were some old Snaaake videos for Indy to review… Too bad …. We liked Indy and we thought he’d be a factor…. But nope – Snaaake-Eyed ….

1,000 to 1: The Big Easy – The Big D – Sommerfeld : — Big E is a 2-time WinterFest Champion and can work a handicap as well as anyone – you know this when he wins on 16 – and then goes triple / triple on 17 and 18 – shooting Net 70 – and somehow convincing the handicap to give him another stroke or two. This year Big E comes in with a 17 handicap which should be criminal (we’re checking). My guess is no one will catch Big E looking into a mirror during the week. The other thing The Big “D” lives by is keep your friends close (naturally he’s a Yank Yank) – but keep your enemies closer. Sure enough Big Easy is out every night with Team EUR, constantly asking if he can use our combs (why?), and wear our team shirts. If the Pope only knew that Easy was sneaking out every night man would he be in trouble – I could easily see the Pope making Big Easy say 20 “Hail Mulligans” if he were to ever find out. So can Big Easy become the first ever three time winner of WinterFest?? The answer goes something like this…. Hell no!!! Parting the Red Sea and Big Easy’s hair are far far easier to do than Big Easy winning WinterFest XVIII. And no Easy, you can’t wear my shirt.

25,000 to 1:  Amped “Mad Max” “TOWM” Hample:  Bad Boy TOWM Hample…  What can you say about this guy that you haven’t already seen on a rest room wall?  Not much but we keep trying…  You all know he’s the undisputed “bad boy” of Team Yanker, and the USGA wants a piece of this guy’s handicap too.  Down to a 4 now, it’s clear that “Squirt” (as his teammates lovingly call him) is hungry for his 2^nd WinterFest jacket – and the fact that he has any appetite at all after WF XV is amazing– after The Porker downed 50 slightly under-cooked pork chops in an hour to win that now famous bet with “The Boss” BIG Snaaake Lawler, when later The Snaaake uttered the now famous line, “TOWM, what is your spew doin in my hole?”  Disturbing I know – but hey – that’s Team Yank Yank.  This is like watching the slowest train wreck in history – it just never comes to a complete stop – although we often hear Team Yank Yank members saying to one another, “You complete me”.  Again disturbing.  Anyway despite all those distractions, it’s clear that TOWM is pretty close to the best Team USA has – and well that kind of tells you how Ryder Cup XVI is going to go.  Look for Amped to be benched on Day 3 of the tournament as he refuses to go to the nightly prayer meeting being held at Quaker Pork and Lube fearing a “re-peat” of past “troubles”. 

5,000 to 1:  Blue Tees “Woozy” Stanley: –  Blue Tees has game – no question.  At the same time Blue Tees is too often the target of Team Yank Yank barbs intended to throw Team EUR off the mission of Ryder Cup XVI – “To Pummel Team Yank Yank”.  Given the mission, Woozy has been heavily involved in preparing complete background checks on Team USA team members to find their weakness – so that took a day.  Then Woozy decided to take some cooking lessons as Bam-Bam insists on spending time in Woozy’s kitchen – that killed another half hour.  Then Woozy put together “The Deuce” Scatback’s greatest Scats album – that took no time at all.  Finally, Woozy thought he would prepare a video where he analyzes The Snaaake’s golf swing – turns out that is going to take months of analysis – and therapy.  And while Woozy’s game is solid as ever, we’re concerned the therapy sessions will ultimately conflict with tournament tee times as the therapy is really needed after watching those videos.

As Vegas has done every year since the inception of WinterFest, The ODDS of Winning WinterFest have been posted….

This year we’ll reveal them a little slower — meaning we’ll be going from the VERY worst odds of winning to the VERY "BEST ODDS of WINNING WF XVIII" — 2 Competitors at a time…. And here are your first two entrants into WinterFest XVIII — obviously not expected to do much….

April 8, 2009

WinterFest XVIII

How Vegas Sees It – Official Odds of Winning WF XVIII

999,998 to 1: Snaaake Bubbles “Out” Lawler: – Proudly completing his own version of a 2-peat in WF XVII (meaning finishing 3^rd – again), Snaaake has trained hard this winter perfecting his “game”. Just ask him if he thinks he can do better in WF XVIII and the Snaaake is quick with the comeback “I’m Game!!” Unfortunately this is where the “game” of Snaaakie Pooh comes to an end, as he continues to struggle with “The 3 Things” putting tips that Woozy provided Snaaake with “3” years ago. And now he’s stuck finishing in “3^rd” year after year after year. Snaaake’s solution to the rut he finds himself in?? A three-some?? A three-way?? A third consecutive third place finish?? Forming a 3rd-party to see if he can get voted in as WinterFest XVIII Champion?? Joining “AAA” to give himself piece of mind after “AA” told him to get lost until he joins Team EUR?? Nope – none of those things… Seems Snaaake has adopted a new mantra for WF XVIII – and it is – you guessed it –"3^rd time is a charm"… If I didn’t know The Snaaake better I’d swear he’s “3 sheets to the wind” for thinking he’ll ever win WinterFest…

40,000 to 1: Stu “The Stork” Sterkel: The Stork is most famous as he was the first of now many Yank Yanks to petition Tournament Central during Ryder Cup XIII to join Team EUR. Almost the stuff of Myths and / or Legends as we look back on it now, but the petition sent shock waves through Team Yank Yank such that Ryder Cup XIII proved to be an easy victory for Team EUR and an even easier WinterFest XV win for Team EUR Legend Cookie “The Lama” Shirey and his trusty sidekick “High Ho (who you callin Ho?) Silver” Bullet. Rumor has it that Team Yank Yank has never quite gotten over the turmoil started by The Stork, and is even more concerned that annually they have to call in Pope Cisco The Kid OTIFH (my man) to “exercise” the Euro demons (as they call them) out of the two or three Yanks that attempt to go over the wall. We’re quite certain that Stew will be dealing with nightly “paddling-in prayer compliance ceremonies” conducted by The Pope to drive the Euro demons from The Stork. With all that fun going on in Camp Yanker, we’re certain that The Stork will be way too distracted to take WinterFest XVIII – and can’t you just hear The Stork saying, “Thank you Pope!! – May I have another?!” There you have it gents (and Yank Yanks) — The Odds have officially started….

Winterfest Golf 2007 – Pinehurst

Golf Itinerary

Date             Tee Time                         Golf Course

Thursday,     5-3-07  9:50 -10:12 a.m.   Talamore

Friday,          5-4-07   8:40 -10:04 a.m.   The Pit

                                   2:16 – 2:32 p.m.     Longleaf

Saturday,     5-5-07   9:15 -9:39 a.m.      Little River

Sunday,       5-6-07   7:50-8:14 a.m.       Tobacco Road

 Vouchers will be mailed to present to the golf courses for admittance to play thirty days prior to your arrival.

Accommodations

We’ve reserved four (4) non-smoking units at the Little River Condos located at the Little River Golf Course. Your lodging includes breakfast every morning at the Little River Course restaurant. They expect you to arrive on Wednesday, May 2, 2007 and depart on Sunday, May 6, 2007.

Well Men (and the little USA boys) Winterfest Golf XVI – Pinehurst 2007 It is that time again to start thinking of Winterfest and how the EURO squad continues to beat USA like a drum.The dates of yet another USA meltdown are May 2, 2007 (arrival date) through May 6, 2007 (last day of golf and head home).

The WinterFest Golf XVI Field consists of:

Golf Team EUR

1. Blue Tees Woozy Stanley

2. Bond, James Bond Dean (C)

3. Dance Man "King" Charleston

4. Gator "The G Man" Kouremetis

5. Snuffy "Smyth" Smith

6. Uri "Your Honor" Yarano

7. Sizzle "Cut N’" Byrn

8. and of course the one — the only — The Lama "Doc" Shirey

Golf Team Yank Yank:

1. Big Easy "Big D" Sommerfeld

2. Mister "Duffy" McGiiiiiiccc

3. Snaaake "Out" Lawler (C)

4. Pope Cisco "The Kid" Gay

5. Amped "Mad Max" Hample – Defending WinterFest Champion

6. Hondo "Kong" King

7. Scatback "Demi – Deuce" Dembeck

8. and the newest addition to Team low-life — Franken "Money" Stein